Gay wrongs

As a therapist, I frequently encounter clients struggling with these emotions, and I hope to provide insights that can guide those going through this complex journey.

What is Gay Shame?

Gay shame is a deeply ingrained feeling of inferiority or worthlessness stemming from the societal rejection or marginalization of one’s sexual identity.

[…] This parliament and this government are to be formally held to account for designing a culture of darkness and shame. The full study was published in June 2014.

The anti-LGBT right continues, however, to use this myth to deny rights to LGBT people, whether through distorting legitimate research or through “studies” conducted by anti-LGBT sympathizers, such as a 2012 paper popularly known as the Regnerus Study.

“While we cannot say that homosexuals caused the Holocaust, we must not ignore their central role in Nazism,” Lively and Abrams add. Furthermore, religious, cultural, or family beliefs that condemn homosexuality can serve as additional layers of oppression, making it hard for individuals to accept themselves.

Internalized homophobia is a key contributor to gay shame.

The APA resolution added that “there is insufficient evidence to support the use of psychological interventions to change sexual orientation” and asked “mental health professionals to avoid misrepresenting the efficacy of sexual orientation change efforts by promoting or promising change in sexual orientation.” The resolution also affirmed that same-sex sexual and romantic feelings are normal.

A very large number of professional medical, scientific and counseling organizations in the U.S.

and abroad have issued statements regarding the harm that reparative therapy can cause, particularly if it’s based on the assumption that homosexuality is unacceptable. Of gay and transgender workers:⁴

• 15-43% have experienced some on-the-job discrimination
• 8-17% report having been passed over for a job or fired because of their sexuality or gender identity
• 10-28% have received a negative performance review or were passed over for a job
• 7-41% were verbally or physically abused or had their workspace vandalized

Antigay employment discrimination was revealed in seven-out-of-eight studies.

“But when the integration became a reality,” the report said, “there was no mass exodus; the opinions turned out to be just opinions.” Similarly, a 1985 survey of 6,500 male Canadian service members and a 1996 survey of 13,500 British service members each revealed that nearly two-thirds expressed strong reservations about serving with gays.

Discredited psychologist Paul Cameron, the most ubiquitous purveyor of anti-gay junk science, has been a major promoter of this myth. These manifestations of stigma contribute to the increased risk of mental illness seen in gay people.

One study found that gay, lesbian and bisexual groups are about two-and-one-half times more likely than heterosexual men and women to have had a mental health disorder, such as those related to mood, anxiety, or substance use, in their lifetime.⁶

It's important to remember though, that while gay discrimination is real, it is wrong.

That would have meant that some 228,000 people might have left the military the policy’s 2011 repeal. A person might feel guilty about certain behaviors, but they can address that guilt by making changes or amends. Omar G Encarnacion, a US scholar who wrote the new book The Case for Gay Reparations, identified five arguments used by opponents against gay reparations:

1. it is wrong to apply today’s values to the historic persecution of gays because the discrimination perpetrated against gays in the past was generally legal at the time

2. this is no more than an exercise in virtue signaling (the conspicuous expression of moral righteousness), with the risk of becoming a slippery slope that could open the floodgates to reparations for just about anyone who has faced hardship or discrimination in life

3. gay reparations are divisive and take identity politics and “victimhood” to a new level

4. gay reparations lack justification because, unlike the case of racial discrimination, there is little evidence of intergenerational damage linked to anti-gay discrimination

5. they are redundant because of the economic success of the gay community.

   This view is buttressed among religiously motivated anti-gay activists by the idea that homosexual practice is a sin and humans have the free will needed to reject sinful urges.

   A number of “ex-gay” religious ministries have sprung up in recent years with the aim of teaching gay people to become heterosexuals, and these have become prime purveyors of the claim that gays and lesbians, with the aid of mental therapy and Christian teachings, can “come out of homosexuality.” The now defunct Exodus International, the largest of these ministries, once stated, “You don’t have to be gay!” Meanwhile, in a more secular vein, the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality describes itself as “a professional, scientific organization that offers hope to those who struggle with unwanted homosexuality.”

   The Facts

   “Reparative” or sexual reorientation therapy — the pseudo-scientific foundation of the ex-gay movement — has been rejected by all the established and reputable American medical, psychological, psychiatric and professional counseling organizations.

   It’s as though there’s a voice in the back of your mind saying, “I’m not good enough because I’m gay,” even when that’s far from the truth. (Röhm was murdered on Hitler’s orders in 1934.) The Nazis considered homosexuality one aspect of the “degeneracy” they were trying to eradicate.

   When Hitler’s National Socialist German Workers Party came to power in 1933, it quickly strengthened Germany’s existing penalties against homosexuality.

   The Spitzer study had been widely used by anti-LGBT organizations as “proof” that sexual orientation can change.

   In 2013, Exodus International, formerly one of the largest ex-gay ministries in the world, shut down after its director, Alan Chambers, issued an apology to the LGBT community. “To the myth of the ‘pink triangle’ — the notion that all homosexuals in Nazi Germany were persecuted — we must respond with the reality of the ‘pink swastika.’”

   These claims have been picked up by a number of anti-gay groups and individuals, including Bryan Fischer of the American Family Association, as proof that gay men and lesbians are violent and sick.

   When someone feels inherently flawed, it can be challenging to engage in self-care or believe they deserve love and happiness.