Anal gay sex tips

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Other lubricants may damage the condom.

Using water or a gentle soap to clean the anus before anal sex: Doing this helps some people feel more comfortable because they worry about poop or being “unclean.”

Starting slowly: A slow and gentle approach reduces the risk of injury and can make anal sex more pleasurable.

It is important to wash any toys that penetrated the anus.

Other hygiene practices include:

avoid penetrating the anus and then the vagina or mouth without washing first, as this can transmit dangerous bacteria, increasing the risk of an infection
wash the hands after penetrating the anus with the hands or fingers
do not reuse anal toys without washing and disinfecting them first

The toy you use will depend on how experienced you are and what your body is used to.

Fibre, anal training and techniques like douching can all play a part. Poppers are alkyl nitrate compounds, that when inhaled act as a vasodilator and produce a brief and mild feeling of euphoria, warmth and dizziness. Try starting with fingers or small sex toys and then gradually work up to penetration with a penis or larger sex toy.

Relaxing the anal muscles before penetration: Gently pushing down as though having a bowel movement may make penetration easier and reduce anxiety.

Breathing slowly and deeply: Focusing on the breath may help a person relax.

Communicating with a partner during sex: If it hurts, tell them to slow down or stop.

Stopping immediately if there is blood or intense pain: These symptoms could indicate an injury or be due to anal sex irritating a hemorrhoid.

After Anal Sex

Many people worry that anal sex will be messy, but for most people in good health, there is little or no poop afterward.

It sets off the same signals to your brain that you need to poop, but you probably don’t. This is more likely if you’re new to bottoming, haven’t bottomed in a while or if your partner is bigger than you’re used to. Once you’ve started to have anal sex, even if you’re using barrier methods, you can’t switch to another kind of intercourse without some type of cleaning and fresh barrier.

If you’re using toys to prepare for bottoming, you’ll be using lube anyway. It just means you went too quickly and need more lube and/or foreplay. Silicone lubricant will generally be the most long-lasting and smooth feeling, and it’s compatible with latex and non-latex barrier methods, but it degrades silicone sex toys.

It’s about listening to your body. Of those participants:

86% said that they had experienced pain at least once, while 9% had never experienced pain
36% said that they had enjoyed pain during anal sex
64% of people who had anally penetrated a partner said that their partner had asked them to stop because of the pain

Anal sex may hurt for several reasons, including:

the anus not producing lubrication for sex
the sphincter muscles of the anus being very tight
certain health issues, such as hemorrhoids, making it painful

However, anal sex does not have to hurt, and severe pain may indicate that a person is doing something potentially harmful.

How to Prepare

Before having anal sex, it is important to talk with a partner about consent, why they want to have anal sex, and how to make the experience as pleasurable as possible.

This is because the rectum doesn’t self-lubricate, so you’ll need some extra help. A dildo that they insert themselves? You are absolutely allowed to say “well, we tried it, that was not for me!” But we would encourage leaving space for the idea that most things in sex get better with a little practice.

And we’ve said this before, but we’ll say it ‘til we’re blue in the face, you’re allowed to try stuff without having to declare a like, love, or allegiance to it.

Starting with fingers (your own or a partner’s), or buying a set of plugs that allows you to gradually work up from something small to something larger is a great way to feel out if the sensation of being penetrated by an erect penis is one you might enjoy, and what steps you need to take to get there.

We’re also going to put a plug in for both partners having some idea of what it’s like to be penetrated.

A penis using a barrier method? Your body deserves care. Then take a shower and wash your butt with soap and warm water. There’s no “right” way to bottom or correct amount of time this should take. It can take some getting used to.

One way to help your anal muscles relax during sex is to gently "push" out as if you're, you know, pooping.

We’re here to make bottoming easier for everyone who wants to try it.